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Radio Free Mormon: 079: Why Are Mormons So Fake

RFM today attempts to start his General Conference review but only gets as far as the first talk he examines…. Elder Soares talk from Saturday Morning.   At this point RFM is stopped in his tracks as he encounters a flooding of connections and thoughts related to how Mormons are trained to sacrifice their authenticity in order to always make the Church look good through faking happiness, faking competency, faking family life, faking joy at the gospel and service within it.  Faking Faking Faking.  So today Radio Free Mormon goes off the rails to address WHY MORMONS ARE SO FAKE!


13 thoughts on “Radio Free Mormon: 079: Why Are Mormons So Fake”

  1. In support of your statement that our relationships hinge upon church activity, when my wife became disillusioned with the church, but not with the scriptures, I thought there goes our temple marriage down the drain. I thought I might as well divorce her. That crossed my mind, at least. But I decided that I love this girl even if she decides to become Buddhist or something else. But it is true you get some deeply ingrained ways of seeing things. Thanks for the good work.

  2. Thank you, RFM, for articulating my feelings regarding the TBM cultural approach to ’the others’. I voluntarily left the church well before ”faith crisis” was a term, before the CES letter, before Snuffer or Dehlin. It was my own study which lead me out, and I am grateful to fill in the blanks provided by others like Reel, Waterman, Dehlin, Colvin, and yourself. Although, my ”wandering in the wilderness” is tolerated by my family and former aquaintainces, they let me know they believe I will come back. I say, ”Well, I petition to the gods for your enlightened as well”, which usually draws an awkward silence. As recent as Saturday, my Nephew, a grandson of a popular general authority, spent hours spewing his good word and devoted love to my husband and I, both ’ out’. We know it is fake. My husband replies, ”Stop pretending that you really give a sh!$ about us. Maybe, with study and an open heart, you can graduate from your primary stories and join the big dogs on the enlightened porch.” RFM, your assessment on the culture of loving others (into or) back to the church is spot on. Thank you for your podcast.

  3. The main warning I tell TBMs is, “You say the church believes the Book of Mormon to be its keystone scripture, so why are you and the leadership constantly doing and trying to justify doing everything the BoM warns AGAINST?!”

    1. One thing I forgot to mention is, having worked for the corporation for a time, I indeed learned what the higher-ups really thought of the lay members.

      Straight from the Church Head of Statistics’s mouth, “We want our young single adults to get married by the time they’re 30. If they don’t they’re far more likely to stop paying their tithing after age 30 if they remain single.”

  4. At its very core, this podcast explains why post Mormons are so much happier and content once they leave the Church.

  5. Great Work RFM! There is a lot of fakeness. I’m willing to bet Mormons are not the only religion with this issue. However I will take your comments on authenticity to task. Being authentic as your #1 goal in life can bring out the worst in me. My authentic self wants to be lazy, flip off the car who cuts me off, spew all of my problems and complaints to those around me. Because I believe in acting happy when I am not helps me to connect positively to those around me instead of pushing them away. No one likes to be around the complainer even if that is there authentic self. I love being around those who can smile even when life is hell. I want to be like them. We all cover up our authentic self at some level, except for the guy a sat behind to on the plane yesterday who chose not to wear deodorant. 5 hours of that body odor repelled me from any desire to want get to know him or be in his presence. By me biting my tongue or wearing deodorant to hide my authentic self can make life better in the long run even though I want to complain and go on a rant because that is my authentic self.

  6. I left a comment on your other podcast “Research is not the answer” with a similar thought. You said it best that “if there is ever any conflict between the church and the family, members understand and are taught that they are to choose the church”. I can tell you that this has had a profound impact on my marriage. As long as I stay quiet, then things stay good in my marriage.

    One last thought, a couple years ago I was asked to do my home teaching. To which I replied that in the last ten years I had been deployed overseas for a total of three years, had three kids, two miscarriages, and moved three times. All without being visited once by my home teachers. I then bore my testimony that I knew that my family and I will be just fine without being a part of it. The Elders Quorum president quickly bore his testimony that he knew it was true and left for more important meetings. A week later, I was promptly removed of all my callings, prevented from baptizing my child (all without really any interaction from the bishop) and have almost completely been ignored by the vast majority of the congregation…

    I would completely agree that there is a huge amount of inauthenticity in the Mormon church. THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY WAY TO BUILD ANY RELATIONSHIPS!

    Anyway, thanks for the wonderful articulations on a very tough subject.

  7. I’d like to add that this is why I envy other churches that can keep it real. I was looking at pictures of the rlds, and their leaders don’t wear makeup and business suits. They are hanging out with the rank and file in blue jeans at the barbeque. I wish we had that- it’s called love I think.

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